How to Get Over a Breakup Even though You Still Love Him

How to Quickly Forget an Ex that You Still Love

      Breakups are one of those things that are universally considered horrible: they can be messy, painful, and of course, heartbreaking. Unfortunately, because every relationship, and every breakup, is unique, no single piece of advice can help you get over a breakup instantly, and it's very hard to move on if you're blinded by it.

Whether he broke up with you, or you ended the relationship, the breakup sucks. The end of a romantic relationship is a painful loss and will take time for you to fully heal. However, there are several ways to deal with a breakup more quickly, and surprisingly, all of them involve grief and pain.

While nothing can prepare you for the sting of a breakup, there are ways to be more resilient and speed up recovery from a breakup. Here are some tips on how to get over a breakup with someone fast.

When you're suffering through a painful breakup, it's hard to imagine that you'll ever find another partner, much less want to! It's a clichéd opinion that it takes a week to forget every relationship, but who has that much time to dwell on the past?

Breakups are just a life phase that you have to go through at a certain time - like a vaccine or a visit to the dentist. For others, a breakup feels so bad that they put off the date completely. Regardless of which group you belong to, you'll likely have to deal with at least one breakup, and possibly many more.

How to Overcome a Break-up Quickly

Understand That You Are Losing

The first thing you have to do is understand that breakups are hard. Be kind to yourself, what you feel is natural. It's important to understand that at first, your body will be in a state of shock. The people you used to talk to, cuddle with, fight with, and make love to are no longer around.

Losing it can be lonely and scary, and from a scientific point of view, you're no longer getting that dose of dopamine and oxytocin (the feel-good chemicals) from your partner. Your body craves chemical repair but doesn't get it

Give Yourself some time to be sad

What you need to do is let yourself feel sad. Don't try to get over the painful part of the breakup by putting on a brave face. It's not going to work, because that's how you get stuck in the grieving process for months, even years. You won't be able to get over the breakup until you face those emotions, so do what you want. Close the curtains, call friends, watch sad movies, and cry.

Accept the end of the relationship.

Avoid second-guessing yourself once you're done with the relationship. Even if you weren't the one who ended it, don't start wondering what you did wrong. Relationships end for good reasons. Either one of you is not happy, or getting what you want. Accept that the relationship is over, and now, you have a fresh start on getting it right next time.

Rebuild your self-esteem

If your partner initiated the breakup, you usually start tearing up your physical appearance and personality, questioning what things you lacked that caused someone to fall in love with you. Focus on what you truly value in yourself and what you bring to the relationship, rather than what qualities you lack.

Write a list and think about the traits that match your character, emotional strength, expertise, and any other qualities that have value in a relationship.

If you're having trouble coming up with ideas, tap on the homes of your closest friends and family, who will share reasons why they feel lucky to have you in their lives.

Control your (obsessive) mind.

After a breakup, your brain is likely to be your worst enemy. You may find yourself obsessively thinking about things such as:

1. I'm going to end up alone.

2. I will never be able to find someone better than him.

3. No one will put up with my bullshit like her.

4. He may have met someone better.

"Nobody will ever love me again"

When obsessive thoughts start taking over your normally rational mind, it's your job to control them. When you feel yourself going down a rabbit hole, ask yourself, “What is another way to look at this? How likely is it that I'll never meet someone as good as him?" Ask yourself rational things to deal with your obsessive thoughts, and understand that this breakup happened for a reason.

Embrace your feelings

After a breakup, no one expects you to be sunshine and rainbows all the time. People understand that you need time to get your emotions under control. If you try to fake it by ignoring your hurt feelings, all you're doing is creating a bigger challenge for yourself later on.

It's like ignoring a cold that eventually turns into a severe sinus infection because you're not giving yourself the rest, hydration, and vitamins you need. Make it a little easier on yourself by dealing with it now and knowing that it will be your best test of long-term healing.

Know your worth: You are always amazing and deserve true love.

Your relationship may have ended, but you have not failed.

Everyone has a story of a failed relationship, and everyone can get through it. Remember that you are an extraordinary and attractive person. One relationship may not work out, but there are many others out there waiting to meet you.

Self-care and getting rid of breakup

A breakup is a form of grieving, so give yourself the time, space, and attention you need. Part of that means surrounding yourself with supportive people. Talk to strong friends and family about your feelings, doubts, and concerns.

Like anything else, resilience requires practice and patience. Take care of yourself, and give yourself room to grieve and process your emotions. Take this in preparation for a new start.

Remove things that remind you of him

This is easier said than done, especially if you live together, but try as much as possible to get rid of your ex's belongings, or items that remind you of him. Get a plastic tub and put in it everything your ex gave you, and all the photos of the two of you together.

Take a vacation trip to a new place

Enter new rooms by exploring new locations.

Start by changing your route back home, or visiting a restaurant you've never been to.

Traveling with friends is fun, but it's really fun traveling alone to places you've never been to before. When you are in a new place, your brain is forced to suppress all the emotions and feelings you have about your breakup, because your brain needs to receive new information about your environment.

Your brain has to figure out how you'll get to where you're going, and where you'll be eating and sleeping once you get there.

It also won't bring up any 'nostalgia', because you've never been there before, and there's nothing to remind you of your ex.

Work out to take your mind off the negativity ( get rid of break up)

Nothing takes your mind off problems more than exercise. Take a run when you get home from work every afternoon. Join the gym and do it each morning before work. As a bonus, when you join a gym, you'll be shaping your body, while increasing your chances of meeting someone new (when you're ready)!

Exercise helps your body get a shot of endorphins and serotonin which will improve your mood. And if you've never been on a fitness regimen before, that's okay: A recent study showed that it could yield major benefits, including a lower risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and premature death.

Date someone once you're ready

A rebound relationship undermines your chances of healing faster from the breakup. But this doesn't mean that you have to stay single for many years. Most people need a month or two to get over the effects of the breakup, grieve, and integrate the lessons before jumping right back in.

However, not all people have the same needs. If your past relationship lasted a year or more, you may need three to four months before you're ready to date again. However, if your relationship was brief enough, you might want to reactivate your Tinder account sooner.

Summary

It's possible to practice these tips for dealing with a breakup quickly. But sometimes you still need time to grieve the loss of your relationship. Seek support from your friends, and cut off contact with your ex, unless you're a coworker.

You can't swing your magic wand and make the pain of a breakup disappear instantly. But be aware that the mind and heart are quite intelligent; There's a reason why breakup wounds heal takes time. You need some time to learn from it and use that information in the future.