Are You Married and in Love with Someone Else?

Married but in Love with Someone Else: Here's What To Do!

      Love is such a charming emotion. You can never force it, however once it arrives and settles in, you need to actively keep it if you don’t want it to go anywhere. Otherwise, love comes and goes, changes and takes us on a wild ride. Sometimes the trip is so wild that you wind up in uncharted territory, with no thought how to proceed…

In a ideal world, we fall in love, we date, we court, we get married, buy the stunning house with the white picket fence and flawlessly reduce green grass with a garden. After a few years of touring the world with our spouse, with whom we are madly in love, we have a few children who occur to always sleep through the night. Nothing about this life is imperfect. Does that sound like you? Didn't think so.

We stay in a world that is something but perfect, and this consists of the chance that you might fall out of love with your partner or fall in love with someone other than your spouse, constantly wondering about them. You'll inevitably be attracted to people outside your marriage, constantly or just occasionally -- this is just human nature. 

Even if your marriage is strong and you are deeply in love with your spouse, you will, at some point, discover your self attracted to anyone else and yet have no desire in anyway to cheat on your spouse. But unfortunately, sometimes that fleeting attraction turns into some thing more.

So, you are married, and you've got realized that you are in love with any other person. What must you do?

Is It Normal to Have Feelings for Someone Else While Married?

As human beings, it’s hard to keep away from developing emotions or attraction towards people around us – even if we’re happily married.

Yes, it is normal – and relatively common – for married people to love someone other than their partners.

It occurs more frequently than you think, but not all people who fall in love with other people pursue affairs or end their marriages.

Over time, marriage can turn out to be stale and finally fail to provide for both partners’ needs – ultimately leading to romantic desire, excitement, connection, and love outside the relationship.

Just because you have emotions for someone other than your partner doesn’t mean some thing is basically wrong with your marriage.

Your partner can’t possibly fulfill all of your needs, and you’ll inevitably be attracted to humans outside your marriage.

Even if your relationship is strong and stable, at some point, you might find your self attracted to any person else but have no desire to cheat. But sometimes, a fleeting feeling turns into some thing more.

Even happily married people discover themselves drawn to or even falling in love with other people.

Loving someone other than your partner doesn’t imply you’re a horrible person.

Having an affair: Dissecting the situation

When you are in love with another man or female who is not your spouse, is necessary to look at how this happened. In the majority of cases when a man or woman is falling for someone outside of their marriage, it is because some thing was lacking in the marriage.

Keep in mind that love is a choice. As I explained, it is very effortless to let the flame sizzle out by not preserving the love between you. Sometimes this occurs because people get lazy and too cozy in the relationship, but other times it occurs because matters have been going downhill in the relationship for quite some time.

There have been fights and tensions, and it will become easy for someone to let go of the love that used to exist.

In addition to this, I frequently see people making excuses. “It’s not my fault” or “I can’t assist it”are matters that occur on a ordinary basis. When you are married and in love with another man or woman, the issue is, it’s not so much about it being someone’s “fault.”

Sure, we all have our own traits and personalities, but we are influenced through them; not managed by them. If you are married and have fallen in love with anyone else, it is vital that you are very trustworthy with your self from here on out.

Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the equal day. What’s more, we all idiot ourselves from time to time in order to maintain our ideas and beliefs consistent with what we have already done or decided.

This is precisely why it is so necessary to be truthful with your self and figure out what you truely want, and what you are willing to work for. If you prefer to save your marriage, then it should be an active choice you make each and every single day. You have to TRY to save your marriage because trust me, it is not going to be saved through accident. So the very first aspect we need to do it is to dissect the situation.

What should you do if you’re married but in love with someone else?

Talk to loved ones.

Speak to humans you love and trust, and who won’t let something slip to your partner.

If you’ve fallen in love with any other man or female who isn’t your spouse, you’re likely to be feeling quite confused (and probably guilty) about these feelings, and you need to offload.

While it’s a hard topic to discuss, you owe it to your well-being and sanity to get it off your chest and out of your mind.

You can select how much detail you go into, however it may be really worth looking for the advice, or simply ears, of someone close to you. There is always the alternative to seek expert counseling here too.

Avoid unsafe technology. Today there are too many seemingly harmless ways to connect with someone using technology. But the usage of Instagram to interact, Facebook to stay in touch, or even simply texting can easily enable you to cross lines that are already blurry. Technology these days allows you to create a connection with others, flirt, or turn out to be emotionally involved with others in ways that don’t Feel like cheating. The fact is that these interactions are all types of micro-cheating and can lead to large problems.

What Makes for a Happy Marriage?

Save the Marriage

Obviously, you wouldn’t have married your husband or wife if there weren’t any powerful feelings between you, to start with. But as I stated earlier, feelings are unpredictable. The awful side to that unpredictability is that you may just fall out of love with your partner and, even worse, not feel terrible about it.

However, there’s a advantage to feelings being so unstable and difficult to predict. Namely, just as you fell out of love with someone, you can work hard on falling in love with them all over again.

Of course, the choice to save your marriage has to come from the heart. Before you try to do it, ask yourself, ‘Is this worth saving?’ Again, you’ll have to take a good, hard look at your years collectively with this person. Were they good, were they bad, did they advantage you or not, and what will occur if you proceed the marriage?

If, by any chance, you feel like you can’t move forward, the next fine step is to file for a divorce. However, make sure that you do it only if you’re genuinely sure that your marriage can't be saved. More often than not, a divorce will only make things worse, specially if you recognize that the person you were with was the right one all along.