Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

How to Know if You are Dating the Right Person

 How Do I Know if I'm Dating The Right Person


     "Am I with the right person?" This question implies you have second thoughts. Surely you prefer to have a definite answer without a doubt, that your partner is "the one and only". Unfortunately, there isn't a green light shining over your partner's head when you first meet him or her, prompting you to build the relationship. But since life and relationships have never been so easy, doubts will arise. It is normal for couples in long term relationships to experience reservations at some point.

Woman dating with the right man

It's Easy To Be Around Them
One of the most important feelings you should look for when assessing whether he or she is the right match for you, is comfort. If you're comfortable with this person - you're not often agitated, alert, waiting for an argument, or feeling neglected - that's a good sign.
That's not to say you won't have the occasional argument or moment of tension. It just means that the overall vibe feels relaxed and natural. (guardian.ng/)

You Stay In The Same "Group" While Arguing
Relationships tend to break down when partners view each other as enemies during fights, instead of finding ways to stay on the same team, even when they're both very angry. If you and your partner are the perfect match, you'll find that you can work through conflicts, voice your concerns, listen, and come to a resolution.
You argue, but never become vicious. And more importantly, you always come out on the other side with new limits and a better understanding of each other.

Does He treat you well?
Is he kind and caring? Is he always supporting you? Does he want what's best for you in the long term? Even if it may make him uncomfortable in the short term? These are a lot of questions but they all stem from "is he treating you well?" It's very important. You deserve a good, loving partner.

Good Communication
Communicating openly and honestly Good communication is an essential part of any relationship. When a human couple knows what they want from a relationship, and is comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between the two of you.

Do you think you can change this person?
When someone reveals who they are, believe in them. You cannot change a person. The person you're dating has to be right for you, what they are or not for you. Do you want the person you are dating to have a hidden agenda to turn you into someone you are not? It won't end well.

Does Your relationship require too much work?
A good relationship takes effort and energy and attention. It needs to be a priority, but it shouldn't be a hard job. This shouldn't be a struggle. If yes, the person is wrong for you. So many teenage relationships are broken and made up. There's so much drama It's too much work. He's not the right person for you.

Have you ever been embarrassed by the person you were dating?
If so, then he isn't right for you. Are you ashamed of the way they treat the waiters? Are you shy about inappropriate jokes? Are you shy when they drink too much? Are you ashamed of the way they talk about themselves or other people? Then he isn't the right person for you. Be honest with yourself. There are so many times that you ignore your hunches because you don't want something to come true. Believe in your instincts.

Summary
Are you single and in search of love? Are you finding it difficult to meet the right people? When you're having a hard time finding a loving relationship, it's all too easy to get discouraged or believe in the destructive myths out there about dating and relationships.
For many of you, your emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a tough journey. Perhaps you grew up in a household where there were no role models for healthy relationships, and you doubted that such a thing existed in this world.

Your dating history is made up of only brief dates and you don't know how to make a relationship that lasts. You could be attracted to the wrong types of people, or keep making the same bad choices over and over, because of unresolved issues from your past.

So no matter what the problem, you can get rid your obstacles. Even if you've been on fire repeatedly or have a bad track record when it comes to dating, the tips above can help you judge whether you've met the right person.

Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Successful Blind Date Tips for Women

Tips on First Dating When You're Dating Someone You've Never Met


      There are a lot of different ways to find eligible singles. But what should you think about when meeting someone for the first time? If you've ever wondered how to go on a blind date, there are a number of do's and don'ts that make the experience more fun and successful. With some pointers on what to say, where to go and how to relax him, your first date will be fun.
Read on for tips and techniques to make sure you get the best blind date possible.
Blind Date Tips

Blind dates are tough. The biggest obstacle is that they may theoretically be blind, but before you even leave, you have a scenario in your mind. This may include how they look or act, how they react to how you look or act, how things work out, and your end result and exit strategy.
In fact, your extremely high blind date failure rate may be directly related to this completely counterproductive preconception...

Arrived on time
Arrive on time or a little early - to guarantee this, you need to check traffic info and plan your trip ahead of time. If you run into an unexpected problem, ask for a way to get in touch with them to let them know (perhaps through a mutual friend of yours).

Throw away all your expectations.
The fastest way to kill a blind date is to walk around expecting Brad Pitt and then feel nothing but disappointment when it's someone other than Brad Pitt (and I guarantee it will). Even if you had an amazing two-hour phone conversation and his online profile was written especially for you, don't expect Mr. Perfect. No one can live up to that. To make sure you don't remember too many dates, stay busy first. Also, I don't mean that you have to have low expectations—just that you don't. Fast! Think of something else.

Wake up and do something.
If the guy is disgusting, unattractive, and/or extremely unintelligent, try not to sit and stare. You will be glued to whatever is bothering you. Get up and engage him in whatever activity you enjoy—pick a song on the jukebox, play pool, order ice cream, go for a walk, or bet on the team playing at the TV bar. If you're having dinner, well… chew it quickly.

If you forget everything, remember to be hopeless and have an open mind. I always have fun when I date hopelessly. (No Hope in one handsome guy. A bottle of wine can't hurt.

Open up your mind
You can't know everything about a person up front, so don't be so quick to judge. Remember: chemicals grow; people will grow on you when you know them; and some people get nervous on dates. As long as you're not a total misanthrope, you're capable of enjoying almost any human being—you just need to keep an open mind.

Don't Put Too Much Pressure on Blind Dates
It's okay to be optimistic and hope for the best on a date, but having very high hopes can lead to disappointment. The best hope for a blind date is that you'll get to know someone new — you can worry about the rest later.

Just be yourself and be honest. A blind date isn't the time to go over someone's entire life history, but it can give you a good idea of what they might want in the future. Don't dwell on the small things and remember the big picture. You can always turn down your next date if you don't feel any chemistry whatsoever.

How Do You Say Hello On A Blind Date?

Remember that the people you meet will immediately form your image, they are looking at you straight away. So try to create a great first few seconds. It's actually easy to achieve and requires only the following ingredients:
1. A warm smile
2. Eye contact
3. Courteous verbal greetings ('Hi, I'm...nice to meet you)
4. Good posture (stand straight with shoulders back - if you are sitting when they arrive, stand up to greet them)
5. Powerful handshake
6. Good presentation (hair, dress and shoes)
Once you've established this initial greeting, you've got to get started, or you could end up with an awkward silence or a strange chatter. Which leads us to...

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

What is The Real Purpose of Marriage

What Does Marriage Actually Mean?

 
      If you have married, you may have find out why marriage is so necessary and experienced some of the great that comes from it. Or, maybe marriage was difficult for some of you, and you’re no longer married. But, there is hope. It starts with realizing that a wedding can be more beautiful than you experience or even think.
What is The Real Purpose of Marriage

The mutual love of a married couple should always be disclose the new life. This openness is expressed strengthly in the sexual union of wife and husband.Loving one another includes giving each other fertility gifts. Couples who are unable to conceive or who are beyond their fertile window can still express openness to life. They can share their generative love with grandchildren, other kid and families, and the wider community.

What is Marriage?

Marriage, also known as matrimony or wedlock is a culturally and often legally recognized union between person called spouses. It assign rights and obligations between the two, as well as between them and their kid, and between them and their in-laws. (wikipedia)
Marriage comes from Middle English and is first seen in 1250-1300 AD. However, ancient institutions may predate this date. The main purpose of marriage, before, was to act as an alliance between families. During history, and even now, families arranged marriages for couples.

Purpose of Marriage

So low marriage these days, many people wonder what is the point of getting married and why marriage is necessary. Here are several keys to help you know the purpose of marriage and what marriage is all about.

Start a family
Some couples desire kids soon after marriage. It is general for couples to have children post-marriage and consider it as an crucial purpose of getting married. This is completely justified.
Kids are seen as the way to extend the family line, to forward family traditions as well as family heritage. Kids also tend to bring the couple closer to each other, and the love for each other solely grows. Being the missing piece in a complete family, kids also uplift the status symbol of the couple as a completed family is what is considered a happy, good marriage.

Marriage mean letting go of your selfishness.
It has been talked that marriage is the joining of 2 people, therefore it goes without saying that there will require to be some stage of compromise. Once you're married there's no more 'me', it's all about 'us'. As a single person, you may have been able to do whatever you want, to come and go as you pleased, but once you are married, there is another person you have to take into consideration. You have to think of things that make them feel happy and use it when you make plans.
The good marriages are frequent those where both partners are wholly committed to making their other half joyful. In a marriage, this is often the priority, and by letting go of your selfishness and prioritizing your partner, you can really get the best out of a marriage.

Love
There is no better matter in a marriage than the true love that you share in your marriedlife. This love is not conditional on if you empty the dishwasher or purchase your partner that trully luxurious car, but it is an unconditional love that is priceless beyond everything.
Through this unconditional love that you receive, you are capable to give it to others. You feel a sense of security with this love that no matter what, your one and only soulmate will be there to love you.

Is Everlasting Happiness The Goal?

Here’s a honest question: since when did the top of relationship achievement become existing in a constant, stable state of happiness, simplicity, and total safety? When did the fantasy of “and they lived happily ever after“ cease being the end of a storybook for children and turn into literal lifegoals?

Eli Finkel, The Social psychologist argues in his book, The All or Nothing Marriage, how, in nowaday’s world, couples expect more and more of each other. We depend on each other for many factors of socialization and support that, prior to the 20th century, many human discover outside of their marriages.

Don’t get me wrong, I think happiness is good. It’s important in all factors of your life, and especially in a relationship. But it’s also a fluid emotion that comes and goes based on how the stomach responds to the burrito you ate for lunch today, your coworker’s irritable habits, what’s happening in the White House this week, if your soccer team wins or loses, or who lives or dies on Independence Day's movie.

Happiness is not a power, stable fundamental upon which to create lasting, committed love. It is simply too unstable, fleeting, and constantly in flux, and the methods in which you achieve happiness changes as you change over time.

Honestly, sustained and immutable happiness is arguably the most ineffective target you could arrange for the relationship, because it’s not possible to reached. The truth of happiness is just like any other emotion, that it comes and goes, like in-laws throughout the holidays, '80s fads, or stomach cramps. Well, now, it’s time to bust out another cold, hard truth: The point of marriage is not happiness. The point of marriage is growth.

Sunday, November 21, 2021

How to Overcome Depression in Marriage

How to Survive a Marriage With Depression


      How to overcome depression in marriage? Does depression keep you feeling isolated? The experience of depression is generally described as feelings of hopelessness and sadness and can lead to ongoing anger.
It's natural to feel like you have to take care of all the issues, but you also have to take care of yourself. Pressure to keep things up can go a long way. Taking that pressure seriously is something very difficult to manage, even at the best of times. (theguardian.com)

Married Woman Argue with Depressed Husband

Psychologists say that depression doesn't necessarily lead to divorce. But divorce occurs because of the effects of depression that are not resolved.

Angry outbursts and blaming others are common. Withdrawal from social activities and a lack of interest in many pleasures are common in people who are depressed.
Household members should observe that the depressed person is not very concerned about finding pleasure or happiness for himself.
These things will make it difficult for you to know how to deal with your partner who is depressed in married life. But your support is needed. You may not be able to cure your spouse's depression, but you can help accompany your partner along the path to recovery and healing.

Depression Problems in Marriage

Certain events that have happened can trigger depression, especially for those of you who are prone to stress and grief. High levels of difficulty in life, loneliness, infidelity problems, and being away from your partner are all things that can happen in your marriage and can cause you or your partner to experience depression.

You sometimes think that your partner doesn't want to work with you to change patterns, lack communication to solve problems, or that your relationship is not open enough in your marriage, all of which will exacerbate depression in your marriage.

What Depression Does to A Marriage

Depression can lead to a marriage filled with anger. However, as frustration and fatigue build-up, your partner's feelings can turn to hatred or anger. If a depressed partner can't enjoy activities that normal couples would normally do together, that could be another source of irritation.

If your partner is not feeling depressed, he or she may have a hard time recognizing a mood disorder. That can be difficult if you're a very optimistic type of person. A human who isn't feeling depressed may feel betrayed because her depressed partner is usually not pleasant enough.

Most people fall in love because they enjoy being with each other, and having fun together.
People who are depressed will give the impression that they don't care. It's hard to be intimate with someone who doesn't seem to care. There is a loss of interest in intimacy in the depressed person, which further strains the marriage.

If depression persists, you and your partner will experience a widening distance. A non-depressed partner might think: How did he get depressed? We are a happy husband and wife couple. Marital discontent can lead to depression.

How to Help Your Depressed  Spouse

Dealing with depression is like walking a tightrope: But there is hope. You can help out by doing this:


Presence

There are many ways to help a depressed spouse, but the most important and easiest way is by listening. You can listen to your partner all the time, you might be thinking – do you practice deep listening?


Are you present in the moment, without distractions from your phone or other work?

Stop what you're doing right now. Make your eye contact and body language more open and receptive. Give nonverbal feedback like nodding, and process what your partner says before you respond. This type of communication can relieve feelings of isolation that are common in people with depression.


Don't Take It Personally

Depression will make your partner behave in an unusual way, which he or she would not do when he or she was normal. He or she may become irritable, angry, or withdrawn. They may not be as interested in spending time by your side, or doing things with you as any normal couple would.

Your partner may have lost interest in sex. These things are impersonal, and that doesn't mean that your partner doesn't care about you anymore. They are signs and symptoms of an illness that requires treatment.


Show acceptance

Get your depressed partner to share their thoughts and feelings with you, listening without judgment.

If your partner is seriously depressed, you may hear things that scare you. For example, your depressed partner may question his love for you, or his desire to remain with you. You should hold off on making decisions about anything related to your marriage until the depressive episode is over.


Remember to Take Care of Yourself

Dealing with a depressed person can be very stressful.

It's fine to take your time. Self-care isn't selfish. Both of you will be better off if you take the time to take care of your mind, body, and spirit with habits such as: enjoying your hobbies, eating healthy, exercising, staying socially connected, praying, or practicing meditation.


Taking care of yourself can also mean knowing when to say goodbye. Of course, this decision should be considered very carefully (and ideally speaking with a mental health professional). You may have to leave if the emotional or physical well-being or safety of you and your child is at risk.


Don't get caught up in stigma or feelings of anger

Dealing with a depressed partner can fuel your anger and resentment, especially if the spouse often makes excuses for distancing themselves, or if some household responsibilities are temporarily shifted.

When your partner is acting withdrawn and lacking in affection, the partner's sex life and intimacy stage will suffer. There's also the shame associated with mental health disorders, which prevents people with depression from seeking depression help centers for treatable disorders.


Find Help for Depression is Essential

Once you've started discussing your partner's depression, the next step is to find a depression treatment. Depression is an actual medical condition. Depression needs treatment, or it will last. Consider getting home treatment, if possible.

Long-term treatment will allow your partner to focus on healing, and controlling the symptoms of depression. While it may seem a disservice to a wedding to go away for a month or two, it is the best thing you can do for your wedding. You can't improve your relationship until you or your partner overcome and manage the mental illness.

Depression is a chronic condition. It might never actually go away. Your partner may experience fewer signs and symptoms that are less severe, but they still have depression. Their stay in mental health centers may be over, but the journey continues.

When your partner returns home from the treatment program, make a plan for ongoing care. This may include individual therapy sessions, antidepressants, and depression marital counseling. Do whatever works for your marriage, but create ongoing treatments for constant depression. You may need to increase it occasionally or reduce it, depending on the progression of the disease.

Sunday, October 31, 2021

Should You Separate Before Getting A Divorce?

Do You Have to Separate Before a Divorce?


     If you are experiencing sadness in your marriage, it can feel like the only option, perhaps the best option is divorce. You may have moments imagining how happy you would be if you could get away from your marriage. And you might wonder if it matters, to go through the separation process before getting divorced.

A Couple Separate before Divorce

Why not save some time chasing a divorce, or getting things done? Why prolong something, with a long separation, before starting the divorce process?

Separation Can Have Quality of Life Advantages

Should you separate before divorce? Why separate for divorce? When people get divorced, they are likely to lose access to the financial benefits of marriage. Many married couples share benefits, such as filing for Social Security payments, joint taxes, or health insurance coverage provided by one spouse's employer under a bylaw plan.

Divorce allows both parties to the marriage to continue receiving these benefits, without filing for divorce. Living apart and still in marriage allows some people to maintain a good quality of life, while also effectively ending their responsibilities towards the marital relationship.

However, choosing not to get divorced, or to receive marital benefits, is often a short-term decision. If one of the parties wants to legally marry the other, they must file for divorce, so that they do not commit bigamy. However, if both partners have a good relationship, and want to share the profits until each party has had the opportunity, to make their profit arrangements, separation may be a good choice.

The Different Types of Separation

Preliminary Trial

If a couple decides to leave the marriage, they must live apart for a while, and decide between divorce and reconciliation. Rules of law also apply during this separation phase. In terms of property ownership, it is considered jointly and owned between the two. Property ownership decisions may also be subject to state regulations. It is also a good idea to make informal arrangements to address the problem positively. If a couple has children, making major decisions before a trial breakup can avoid any problems in the future.


Legal Proceedings

Couples can also obtain legal separation by filing in family court. Legal separation is the difference between marriage and divorce. However, the courts handle this matter in the same way as any other divorce case. This includes alimony, property division, and child support. Some couples may choose to separate legally and live their life happily for many years.


Permanent separation

Once a couple decides to separate permanently, it is their responsibility to go through all the mandatory processes. The division of property and debt must be decided immediately if the separation occurs before the divorce lawsuit. Prompt financial action is critical to long-term reconciliation. Once separated, they can make a basic agreement for their joint assets. Some people may stay in a relationship for insurance considerations. And, this option makes them responsible for all the consequences at a later stage.


Written Separation Agreement

When a couple divorces, it is possible, otherwise, the communication becomes poor to some extent. Even though the two of you were on good terms when you separated, the relationship may deteriorate during the divorce. (divorcenet.com)

Putting your separation in writing can prevent future arguments or uncertainty. And if you decide to stay together during your divorce proceedings, a separation agreement may be required, to show your intention to separate by a set date. Likewise, if you live in a state, which requires you to be separated for a while before the court approves your divorce application, a separation agreement is a good way to date your separation.

Your written separation agreement can serve as a roadmap for your relationship, until the court approves your divorce application, and can include a provisional order, if needed. Temporary injunctions can handle child custody, child support, spousal support, and property division. Therefore, if you disagree about how you are going to handle matters during the separation, or are unable to get your spouse to sign a separation agreement, you can seek a temporary injunction with the court, before starting the divorce proceedings.

Possibility of Saving a Marriage From Divorce

How long were you separated before you divorced?
For those who still have the belief that they can keep their marriage, separating before divorce is a last resort. Divorce and divorce are two different things. Separation doesn't mean divorce, and as long as a couple stays legally married, anything is possible, so they can get back together.

See things from a different perspective. You may take a different decision as to where to start.
When you choose to separate before you get divorced, very different perspectives can open up. Things become different, and everything is seen from another perspective.
This allows you to rethink your decisions, behavior, and what you want from your future.

Are You Searching for Marriage Counseling?

If the problems in your marriage are fixable, try marriage therapy while you're apart. This can highlight what didn't work and guide you toward future love. On the other hand, many people, who are divorced after several separations, say that working with a marriage counselor can help you separate without regrets. When many people decide to divorce, it's because they don't want to keep doing this over and over again. The main question you ask yourself is, 'Would life be better without my husband?' I've never doubted my decisions, and I'm much happier now."

Last words
So, while some couples can and do use their breakup to work through their differences, remember that a breakup is often the first step to divorce, and make sure you protect yourself legally. If you're wondering whether divorce is the right answer. Do not forget to find a reliable divorce lawyer.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

4 Habits That Can Destroy Your Marriage

4 Bad Habits That Ruin Relationships


     Everyone has habits that may annoy their partner, but some behaviors can damage your marriage if you don't change them. With the right information, it may not be too late to change those habits and rebuild your marriage. Listed below are seven common habits that can ruin a marriage if it persists.
Watch out! This Habit Can Damage Even The Happiest Marriage

Dishonesty

We don't think we're lying to each other…until we do a little bit more study on what dishonesty really means.
Although we never lied outright, my husband and I discovered early on that we had a habit of keeping little secrets from each other. They include how we spend our money and how we spend our time, and our ideas and opinions. We mistakenly think that we protect each other from pain.

The problem is that when one of these secrets is revealed, the trust in our relationship is eroded. It will take you quite some time to rebuild it.
Dishonesty is never truly valuable, no matter how big the secret. If you're afraid of your partner's response to something, it's better if you open it up right away, rather than letting him find out at a later date.

Underestimate Your Partner

You may get angry from time to time and may say something hurtful to your partner, but if emotional abuse is a normal phase of your interaction, or if you push, threaten, or hit your partner when you are angry, it is a bad habit and may result in divorce.

When we appreciate something, we treat it with respect and care. We take care of it like any extraordinary treasure. We value our time and behave in ways that ensure we continue to have access to what we value. Unfortunately for many marriages, evidence of respect for each other and the relationship is absent.

On the other hand, in many marriages, often even in failed marriages, there is a lot of criticism, negativity, neglect, and carelessness. It's hard to choose to be around someone who is constantly negative, and if that negativity is directed at us in the form of criticism, its effects over time are degrading and deadly to a marriage.

The things we feed and care for grow. The things we persecute and ignore will make us hungry. These are easy principles that apply to our weddings as much as they do to our houseplants. If you love someone, show that love in your actions and words. If you neglect to do so, you are showing a lack of interest in you. If you're in an abusive relationship, get out of the situation quickly and get help now.

Lack of Communication.

Do every conversation turn into an argument? Good communication boils down to knowing what to ask for; Don't think of others as mind readers.
Avoid vague statements and assumptions, Make extra 'I' statements and emphasize what you want. (1)

What holds you back? Blame the bad patterns that you saw in your family growing up, such as avoiding fights, worrying about how your husband will respond, unresolved trauma and more.
Learning to really listen to each other is very important, but it is surprisingly difficult to do.

Just sit opposite each other. One partner makes statements while the other just listens – without responding – and then repeats what he said. Sometimes this practice takes up to 10 attempts before the listening partner gets what the other person is expressing.

Women have a very hard time naming their needs, you may also find it easier if you ask yourself, How does my request serve our relationship as a couple?
For example, say you're tired from the week and want your husband to help out with the kids on Saturday morning, so you can go to your favorite yoga class. Consider how the greater peace, you rejuvenated makes a better partner for your husband.
By running your request through these filters, you may understand that what you're asking for can help strengthen the relationship.

Selfish Demands.

It's only natural to choose to be loved in your marriage. And it's true to talk about how you prefer to be loved, through your love language or any other personal need.
However, it was all too useful for a simple request to become a selfish request.
My weakness is covering up my needs as whiny guilt or passive-aggressive manipulation. There is a reason why Proverbs warns more than once about a fussy spouse and how she quickly tears her husband down.

If your husband seems to be withdrawn or resisting when you try to share your needs with him, consider how you communicate. Were you traumatic or manipulative? If you're not sure, just ask him or her, or get an outside opinion.
Likewise, if you think he's traumatized by you too much, try to talk to him without reciprocating.

Summary
Research shows that it takes as little as 21 days to form a habit. It seems so simple to start and still do something nice for yourself like exercise, eat clean, not yell at the kids, etc. But it also takes only 21 days to create not-so-positive habits that over time can build and destroy a happy marriage. Or...perhaps marriage counseling can help.

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Are You Married and in Love with Someone Else?

Married but in Love with Someone Else: Here's What To Do!


      Love is such a charming emotion. You can never force it, however once it arrives and settles in, you need to actively keep it if you don’t want it to go anywhere. Otherwise, love comes and goes, changes and takes us on a wild ride. Sometimes the trip is so wild that you wind up in uncharted territory, with no thought how to proceed…
Married but in love with someone else

In a ideal world, we fall in love, we date, we court, we get married, buy the stunning house with the white picket fence and flawlessly reduce green grass with a garden. After a few years of touring the world with our spouse, with whom we are madly in love, we have a few children who occur to always sleep through the night. Nothing about this life is imperfect. Does that sound like you? Didn't think so.

We stay in a world that is something but perfect, and this consists of the chance that you might fall out of love with your partner or fall in love with someone other than your spouse, constantly wondering about them. You'll inevitably be attracted to people outside your marriage, constantly or just occasionally -- this is just human nature. 

Even if your marriage is strong and you are deeply in love with your spouse, you will, at some point, discover your self attracted to anyone else and yet have no desire in anyway to cheat on your spouse. But unfortunately, sometimes that fleeting attraction turns into some thing more.
So, you are married, and you've got realized that you are in love with any other person. What must you do?

Is It Normal to Have Feelings for Someone Else While Married?

As human beings, it’s hard to keep away from developing emotions or attraction towards people around us – even if we’re happily married.
Yes, it is normal – and relatively common – for married people to love someone other than their partners.
It occurs more frequently than you think, but not all people who fall in love with other people pursue affairs or end their marriages.
Over time, marriage can turn out to be stale and finally fail to provide for both partners’ needs – ultimately leading to romantic desire, excitement, connection, and love outside the relationship.

Just because you have emotions for someone other than your partner doesn’t mean some thing is basically wrong with your marriage.
Your partner can’t possibly fulfill all of your needs, and you’ll inevitably be attracted to humans outside your marriage.

Even if your relationship is strong and stable, at some point, you might find your self attracted to any person else but have no desire to cheat. But sometimes, a fleeting feeling turns into some thing more.
Even happily married people discover themselves drawn to or even falling in love with other people.
Loving someone other than your partner doesn’t imply you’re a horrible person.

Having an affair: Dissecting the situation

When you are in love with another man or female who is not your spouse, is necessary to look at how this happened. In the majority of cases when a man or woman is falling for someone outside of their marriage, it is because some thing was lacking in the marriage.

Keep in mind that love is a choice. As I explained, it is very effortless to let the flame sizzle out by not preserving the love between you. Sometimes this occurs because people get lazy and too cozy in the relationship, but other times it occurs because matters have been going downhill in the relationship for quite some time.

There have been fights and tensions, and it will become easy for someone to let go of the love that used to exist.
In addition to this, I frequently see people making excuses. “It’s not my fault” or “I can’t assist it”are matters that occur on a ordinary basis. When you are married and in love with another man or woman, the issue is, it’s not so much about it being someone’s “fault.”

Sure, we all have our own traits and personalities, but we are influenced through them; not managed by them. If you are married and have fallen in love with anyone else, it is vital that you are very trustworthy with your self from here on out.

Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the equal day. What’s more, we all idiot ourselves from time to time in order to maintain our ideas and beliefs consistent with what we have already done or decided.

This is precisely why it is so necessary to be truthful with your self and figure out what you truely want, and what you are willing to work for. If you prefer to save your marriage, then it should be an active choice you make each and every single day. You have to TRY to save your marriage because trust me, it is not going to be saved through accident. So the very first aspect we need to do it is to dissect the situation.

What should you do if you’re married but in love with someone else?

Talk to loved ones.
Speak to humans you love and trust, and who won’t let something slip to your partner.
If you’ve fallen in love with any other man or female who isn’t your spouse, you’re likely to be feeling quite confused (and probably guilty) about these feelings, and you need to offload.
While it’s a hard topic to discuss, you owe it to your well-being and sanity to get it off your chest and out of your mind.

You can select how much detail you go into, however it may be really worth looking for the advice, or simply ears, of someone close to you. There is always the alternative to seek expert counseling here too.

Avoid unsafe technology. Today there are too many seemingly harmless ways to connect with someone using technology. But the usage of Instagram to interact, Facebook to stay in touch, or even simply texting can easily enable you to cross lines that are already blurry. Technology these days allows you to create a connection with others, flirt, or turn out to be emotionally involved with others in ways that don’t Feel like cheating. The fact is that these interactions are all types of micro-cheating and can lead to large problems.


Save the Marriage
Obviously, you wouldn’t have married your husband or wife if there weren’t any powerful feelings between you, to start with. But as I stated earlier, feelings are unpredictable. The awful side to that unpredictability is that you may just fall out of love with your partner and, even worse, not feel terrible about it.

However, there’s a advantage to feelings being so unstable and difficult to predict. Namely, just as you fell out of love with someone, you can work hard on falling in love with them all over again.

Of course, the choice to save your marriage has to come from the heart. Before you try to do it, ask yourself, ‘Is this worth saving?’ Again, you’ll have to take a good, hard look at your years collectively with this person. Were they good, were they bad, did they advantage you or not, and what will occur if you proceed the marriage?

If, by any chance, you feel like you can’t move forward, the next fine step is to file for a divorce. However, make sure that you do it only if you’re genuinely sure that your marriage can't be saved. More often than not, a divorce will only make things worse, specially if you recognize that the person you were with was the right one all along. 

Friday, September 10, 2021

What Is a Karmic Relationship?

Can Karmic Relationships be Good For You?


       A karmic relationship is one that is passionate and turbulent, full of conflict. Karmic relationships are related to karma in a sense because they are conceptualized as relationships that humans need in our lives to grow.
Karmic Relationships

This relationship tests our perception of love and relationships. The question is that karmic relationships develop out of unresolved issues in your previous life. This relationship provides you with wisdom and lessons and points you in the right direction. Karmic relationships can feel time-consuming and magnetic, but they are often marked by relationship ups and downs.

People often mistake karmic relationships for soulmates, because of the intense feelings both partners feel in the early stages of the relationship. But unlike soulmates, karmic relationships are not meant for (often very briefly) love.

Karmic Relationship Definition

What is a karmic relationship? Karmic relationship meaning is one that is meant to facilitate the instructions we need to learn in this life around love and partnership. A karmic relationship would probably be considered a type of soulmate relationship, and as such is a two soul relationship, although it differs from twin flames or soul mates for recovery in nature. Most likely, each of you will have one of these karmic connections in your life. It is love that pushes your buttons—and drives you to grow. However, this relationship will not go smoothly.

How This Karmic Relationship Can Be Realized

It is possible that you will be in the middle of it, even before you realize that you are involved in a karmic relationship.
With a pattern of breakups and reunions, it's a relationship that the two best friends just can't seem to resist.
A karmic relationship grips both partners tightly, and despite the harm that can be done to both, they seem unable to let go of each other, despite everyone around them telling them to stop.

Usually there is an instant connection in a karmic relationship, and for some inexplicable reason, you feel magnetically attracted to another man or woman as if you couldn't live without them.
You also feel destined to be with different people and don't understand why it's not working, because this person feels perfect in your eyes. This makes it very difficult to see the flaws of this person in your eyes.
Moreover, karmic relationships are not exclusive to romantic partners. You can also go on this kind of connection trip within your home family, with friends, or a short gathering.
Signs of Karmic relationships

Karmic Relationship Signs 

The specific karmic relationship of the twin flames and the relationship of soul mates. In a spiritual context, karmic relationships are seen from a personal growth perspective. Here are some of the signs and symptoms of karmic relationships:

It's a codependent relationship.
Karmic relationships take time. In a codependent relationship, you won't feel comfortable until you're with your partner the whole time, you start to have a distorted self-image, and boundaries basically don't exist. So, you are emotionally and physically grounded in this man and the relationship.

Feel doomed.
You assume that you can't live next to this person, and experiences like each one of you become as they should be. You can't understand why it keeps failing, and you just keep trying and hoping to get it right. It's very hard to resist, and continues to attract you, until you learn what you want from it.

They let out your worst fears.
They bring to the surface everything you fear. Fear of abandonment, fear of commitment, rejection, loss, being swallowed by emotions, and all the skeletons hiding in your closet. (1)

A karmic relationship is an emotional rollercoaster.
There really aren't any easy relationships, and all of them take some effort. However, a karmic relationship will usually push you into a devastating cycle of joy and sorrow that ordinary relationships don't experience.

How do karmic relationships fluctuate from the various types of excessive relationships?
The biggest difference between relationship karma and other severe relationships is the feeling of helplessness, when in a karmic relationship, you may end up experiencing like your partner, who is actually a part of your own psyche, which, understandably, will make ending matters seem very difficult. If your body or soul senses that this different person is a part of you, your defenses will make it almost impossible to get away from them.

While ending a karmic relationship may also be difficult, there is a motivational issue that you so desperately want to overcome, that your soul is trying to teach you a lesson from every other life. Karmic relationships are notoriously challenging to let go or 'put aside' until the lessons of karma are learned.

Karmic Relationships How To End

As with any other type of interaction, if you experience as if the dynamics are no longer good enough, and your bodily or emotional well-being or protection is compromised, it's a good idea to leave the relationship. If you want help doing this, let everyone know about the scenario, and ask for help setting boundaries. You can also distance yourself from it until there's nothing left for the relationship, even if it seems impossible.

You can create ripples in relationships for yourself and future generations by looking within, and doing your non-public repair work to push above, above your family's patterns, trauma, and conditioning.

The ending of the karmic relationship story needs to be considered positive, even if it doesn't experience anything like that.
Karmic relationships can be emotionally draining and heartbreaking, however, one good thing you can take from this relationship is that you can set some boundaries. From the karmic connection, you will understand that you will not be able to tolerate that emotional level. .

Monday, September 6, 2021

The Secret to Being Great on the First Date

Proven Ways to Succeed with First Dating     

        
      You have worked up the courage to ask that special someone out, and they have said yes. Now comes the challenging part: planning your first date. But...
Does the idea of a first date fill you with dread? Does your memory of the last one make you cringe with failure and embarrassment? If so, you’re not alone. Few people discover dating straightforward, even (and possibly especially) in the age of Tinder and Match.com.

Proven Ways to Succeed with First Dating

First dates are usually a bit nervy, no matter how confident you are. Both of you prefer to make an excellent first impression but if you have already been talking with this man or woman (assuming it’s not a blind date) and you sparked correct chemistry throughout your first meeting, the transition from your first meet to your first date isn’t as scary as it may sound.

Here’s a detailed set of first-date tips, by science.


1. Don’t overcomplicate things

The first date with someone you know or don't know is full of uncertainties. Don’t make things extra complex by attempting to prepare the perfect romantic dinner, or planning a whole day out. Instead, keep things brief and simple. A cup of espresso in a central location will make it clear quickly if your date is someone you would like to spend extra time with. And if things go well, the espresso should turn into a lunch or dinner, including some spontaneity into the mix.


2. Prepare for an Engaging Conversation

If you’re quiet or have social anxiety, the most nerve-wracking phase of going on a first date is attempting to have an engaging dialog with someone you barely know. Luckily, psychologists have observed some keys to the best dating conversations.


Studies show that if you’re going on a date–especially with a woman–you have to forget the cheesy pick-up lines and choose an interesting dialog starter instead. Women tend to rate empty compliments and failed tries at humor poorly. People are more attracted to dates that spark a dialogue that shows they are curious, intelligent, and cultured.


3. Mirroring

Mirroring is when you subtly copy the behavior of the person you're with. So, if he shifts or smiles, you mirror these behaviors. A study via the Behavioural Science Institute in the Netherlands discovered that the greater attracted we are to people, the more we mimic their behavior. If you struggle to express your feelings, mirroring your date’s conduct is an excellent way to subconsciously show them you’re interested.


4. Wear something that makes you feel great

Newman loves high heels, so she continued wearing them even though they sometimes threw a wrench into things. "We all understand '6 feet' can be code for '5-foot-10' on dating profiles. I'm 5-foot-7, so I kept showing up and towering over my dates, which wasn't enjoyable for me," she says. But did she stop wearing the heels? Nah, because that misrepresentation wasn't on her, and they made her feel confident.


5. Show up as yourself.

At first, Try to decide what a man desired and conform to that. Once that tactic wasn't successful, she reevaluated and located the advantages of being authentic. It's exhausting to attempt to figure out what someone desires instead of being yourself, and really, you don't want to be a fit for everybody.


6. Be on time

Forget the ‘be late on a first date advice you’ve read in magazines. Just don’t do it. Would you like him to show up half an hour late? Probably not.

First of all, it’s excellent that you are willing to make such an effort to get prepared for him. But you understand exactly how long it takes for you to get ready.

So make sure you plan accordingly and get the time you want before you go on your date. That way, you make a good effect on him, and you appear beautiful.

This is one of the first date recommendations where you don’t favor taking a threat and possibly assume I’m wrong. Because it’s simply so needless if you show up to pass over out on a great man because of this.


7. Be mindful of your body language

mindful of body language We all understand a lot can be stated about a person’s body language. Sitting slumped in a chair with thinking eyes isn’t precisely the signal of anyone who’s respectful or even involved in the man or woman sitting opposite them. I am aware of being continuously conscious of your physique language can be difficult, as it’s a section of our herbal bodily instinct.


If we’re bored, we lose eye contact, fold our arms, and usually looked disengaged, and though you may not be conscious of what you’re doing, it’s blindingly apparent to the man or woman opposite you. Maintaining eye contact and leaning in when your date is speaking are subtle symptoms that you’re engaged and interested in the conversion. 

Friday, August 13, 2021

Tips to Start Dating After Divorce

Getting Ready to Date Again After Divorce

     
       A divorce is an event in human life that is full of stress. Studies show that the cause of stress due to divorce is ranked second, after the death of a spouse or child, or having a health crisis.
Ending your marriage can make you rethink everything you know and think about love, but that shouldn't prevent you from finding happiness with someone new. Experts say that dating in your 40s, or 50s, can improve the quality of your relationship in the future.

Woman Dating a Man After Her Divorce

"I see a single divorce as a good credential, truly," says Fran Walfish, Ph. D., a relationship psychotherapist and consultant psychologist. There shouldn't be any shame when it comes to a divorce. This can help you figure out what it is you want in your next partner.

Dating after divorce can feel like tumultuous territory that is uncharted. Can you start dating while you're still in the process of divorcing, or is there a certain amount of time you should wait? How do you know you're ready to start a new love affair? To address these concerns, and offer the dos and don'ts of post-divorce dating, we asked marriage counselors to share their advice.

Are You Dare To Start A New Dating Experience?

If you've been in a committed relationship for a long time, and then it fell through, the idea of starting a new romance might seem daunting.
If you've recently tried other activities that put you outside your comfort zone, you may be ready to go back to dating.
Have you ever done something that was an affirmation of yourself and your life, made new friends, tried a new sport, or gotten a new haircut?
You have to be brave enough to open your heart to start a new relationship so that you are tough enough to take the downsides of dating to get the added value.

How to Know If You're Ready to Date Again

Thinking of giving yourself a jump into the dating pool? Before you start dating after your divorce, the most important thing is that you're sure you're ready to do it.
Here are some important questions to ask yourself, to make sure that it's the right time for you to start this new dating adventure.

Are You Clear What You're Looking For?
You're older than you were the last time you were looking for a partner, so no doubt a lot has changed about what you want in a partner. To be successful today, you must have a solid idea of what you are looking for. Before starting to date, you should know these things:

- Your red flag and a deal breaker for future partners
- The latest version of your ideal type of partner, taking into account your current age
- Your method and style of communication
- The qualities you like in a potential partner
- Are you okay with a partner who is currently raising children?
- Do you want a serious relationship?

Have You Grieving and Processing?

There's no one perfect way to get through a divorce, but for everyone, it's necessary to take time to work out the end of a relationship.
Maybe you've had therapy, attended an online support group for divorced people, or spend a lot of time doing everything yourself.
Dating should begin after you have invested this time in recovery, not before. Waiting until you are completely grieving and processing your divorce is the only way to be open and available to someone new.

Tips Before You Start Dating After Divorce

1. Wait for your divorce proceedings to be finalized before you start dating.
Even if you know your marriage is truly over, you still need to give yourself some time and space. There is no 'magic' time frame by which someone will suddenly be ready to date again.
Experts suggest that one waits about a year. Separation or divorce are emotional times for women. While it may be tempting to lick your wounds with the positive attention of others, it can hinder you from the healing process needed to move forward healthily with someone in the future.

2. Dating online.
Some people do not like online dating, although there are several dating sites that people do like. If you're looking to date online, do some research on which offers the experience you're looking for. Some are suitable for looking for a long-term partner, while others are more suitable for short dating.

3. Make sure you heal before you start dating.
At this point, you should have done the necessary "inside work" to find a healthy relationship.
Do you see what went wrong in your old relationship? Have you gotten as close to your ex and your divorce as possible?
Dating from a place of anger usually doesn't lead to good choices. Do not miss the counseling sessions, they will be of great help later.

4. Develop your “dating village”.
Dating after divorce is not easy, and it takes a large group of people around you to keep you motivated and inspired.
Maybe your friends at work, school, your family, neighbors, or kids.
If you don't have a built-in village, consider enlisting the help of a professional, someone who can help you maintain your enthusiasm, set goals, and achieve your goals.
The dating village should be filled with people who support you and should lift you, not tear you down.

5, First-date advice
Come in with the attitude that you're interviewing your date, and not "I hope he likes me." Keep the conversation relatively light, and do not bad-mouth your ex or talk about your divorce. Think about the answer to the question: "Why did you get divorced?" Know what to say.
No one wants to hear, “My ex-devour owes $1500 and refuses to pay. I hate that madman.”

6. Be honest
If you don't want to date him anymore, but he keeps calling, then just say it. Don't lie and say you got back with your ex. Just say, "I don't want you to waste time"

7. Don't be afraid you'll be vulnerable after a few dates.
It can be really scary, but if you want a real relationship, you have to open up and show yourself for who you are. When you see that he likes you just the way you are, your relationship will improve. And if she doesn't like him, then she's not the right person.
.

Conclusion

Dating is an adult decision. Some single parents don't date because they are worried about the impact it will have on their children. You don't want to let your kids make any other decisions for you, so don't let them get in the way of you dating, if that's something you want to do.
But be careful. Handle new partner introductions with extreme caution. This has to be a serious person with long-term relationship potential, who comes to the dinner as the perfect match.